“But It’s The Prom!”

After reading the above title, I’m sure some have already drawn some conclusions about me.  However, I can live with that.  All I ask is that you keep reading and give what I have to say a fair hearing.

Allow me to start right here… “Is dancing wrong?” I must first answer “No.” Dancing is not an intrinsic evil. There is no sin in moving one’s feet to the rhythm of music.  Not all dancing involves indecent dress, unchaste contact, or illicit movements.  In fact, the Bible records instances when righteous men danced as an expression of their joy (1 Chronicles 15:25-29; Luke 15:11-32).

However, dancing that calls for close bodily contact between unmarried males and females is wrong.  Dancing that involves indecent and suggestive bodily movements is wrong.  And dancing that involves impure handling of a dance partner is wrong.  The kind of dancing that God’s word condemns is the kind of dancing that stirs one to have impure thoughts, and act in impure ways.  That is the problem with most of the dancing that takes place today.  Its appeal is sex.  Now, there is nothing wrong with sexual attraction either.  In fact, sexual attraction is a perfectly healthy matter that God created and put within us.  However, that attraction must be kept within proper bounds.  It should not be tantalized or it will very likely get out of hand.  Unmarried people who have no legitimate means to fulfill their sexual desires need to be extremely careful to avoid any situation that could feed or flame such desires.

In years past, there was hardly any Christian who would openly defend dancing.  The preachers of times past taught that it was sinful, and the congregation concurred.  So, what has happened?  Are things different today?  Has dancing cleaned up its act?  Were the preachers of yesterday all wrong about dancing?  Has God’s moral standards changed some over the years?

Well, dancing certainly has not become any more moral over the years.  If anything, the modern dance is more sensuous today than it ever was.  Furthermore, preachers of the past were correct in preaching and warning against fleshly lusts which war against the soul (Galatians 5:19-21; 1 Peter 2:11). And of course, God’s moral law has not changed (Matthew 24:35). So then, what has changed?  What has changed are the attitudes and respect (or lack of) God’s people have for His will.  Some apparently seem to be more willing to justify their “pet” sins than they are willing to justify God’s high moral standard.

In the past several years, our local proms have seen…

  • Guys and girls rent cabins at a state park where some spent the night drinking and engaging in sexual immorality.
  • Public intoxication and arrests made by the local police force.
  • “Dirty dancing” (and that’s the way I’ll describe it.  To get specific would probably be offensive)performed on the “chaperoned” dance floor which is broadcast over our local television cable system.
  • Immodest, revealing clothing worn, intended to solicit the attention of the opposite sex.  I remember overhearing two girls trying to “outdo” each other as to which one was showing more cleavage.
  • Young people lying to their parents about their whereabouts while they stay out all evening and return home in the morning.
  • Parents who told their children they “had to go” to the Prom, and parents who told other people’s children that they needed to go to the Prom when the young people had no desire to attend.

And here’s the kicker…Every one of the actions mentioned above were done, not by the non-Christians living in Glasgow, but by young people and parents who are members of the Lord’s church; Christians!  If this is the way that disciples of Jesus conduct themselves, then how do you suppose the world acts?  No wonder our school system typically mails out a letter to area churches asking for their help and support in keeping, what they describe as “one of the most dangerous nights of the year for our young people” as safe as possible.

Listen, I fear for those who go to a dance, spend all night with their date, come home the next morning (which happens to be the Lord’s day), and find themselves too exhausted, because of their carousing, to go to worship or to truly worship in spirit the one who shed His blood for their redemption.  Do we really think that such actions will simply be pardoned or excused because, after all, “It’s the Prom.”

Young people, keep the commitment that you made to the Lord.  Guard your heart and mind from the fleshly lusts that war against your soul” (1 Peter 2:11).  And parents, help your young son or daughter in making decisions that may affect their eternal destiny.  Sometimes, because of the tremendous peer pressure they are under, your children need you to say “no” for them. Help them to make Christ-focused decisions that will bring honor God.

You know what I think?  I think we need a good dose of discipleship!  I think we need to quit acting and thinking carnally.  I think mom’s and dad’s and other adults need to quit pushing and encouraging young people to immerse themselves in such a worldly event, and to develop some backbone.  And I think we need to be honest with ourselves and quit trying to defend what is indefensible.  What do you think?

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Comments 56

  • Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post.

    As a youth minister for almost 9 years, this was an area I often had to discuss. Every time, I faced opposition.

    Thank you for your strength and courage to preach the truth in the face of so much opposition by brothers and sisters.

  • Thanks for your stand too, Adam. I’m convinced that folks need to quit “playing church” and get down to living as authentic disciples of Jesus. Just think how that would impact our churches, and the changes it would bring, if we just committed ourselves to that.

  • Amen. Thanks, Brother Steve for this loving and uncompromising study.

  • Steve,

    It seems amazing to me that Christians can justify what they want to do with beliefs that this is a one-time event in life, so give in to the culture.

    I cannot imagine what parents are thinking when they themselves sponsor and oversee drinking and lusty parties. I think of 1 Peter 4:

    Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh,£ arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, 2so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God. 3The time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry. 4With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you; 5but they will give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

    phil

  • Steve,
    I, too, have spoken out against Christian young people & adult chaperons (also Christians) having anything to do with the prom, or other school dances. I could share sad stories where Christian principles were compromised by the mentality that Christians can dance publically without sinning in any way. After 35 years of preaching, I know of specific experiences where dancing has led to divorce & remarriage to a dance partner, and other accounts of unwed pregnancies, etc. It amazes me that Christians still try & defend the prom as a necessary passage of life & they think it is innocent!!! In spite of the lack of popularity of lessons on dancing (as well as immodesty), I pray God will give me many more chances to challenge all our brethren, young & old, to open they eyes to the evils of dance.

  • Thanks Steve for a well written article. I know that the dance hasn’t changed. I’m afraid it is we that have changed. We have the tendency to become desensitized to sin.
    Keep up the good work
    James

  • Thanks for this. We know we are in the minority anymore about this issue. It is hard to find an eldership who is in full support of preaching on these issues anymore. But we will press on.

  • Lasciviousness is the word that should definitely be brought up. Teens of today have NO idea what it means in so far as how it disappoints God. However, they know exactly what it is because they engage in it all the time. There’s almost no shame taught to our young people today; even our Christian youth. After asking, I was told by an elder (in a nice way) that I could not preach on dancing. So sad. I know we don’t want our children to miss out on what many deem the biggest social event of the year but we should want them to abstain from all the things that night represents.

  • […] Steve Higginbotham has produced a fine article on the subject. I want to commend it to every parent and every young person. I have added Steve’s blog to my blogroll and hope you will visit it often. Thanks to Joey Sparks at Midway for mentioning this article in a note on his Facebook page. […]

  • Steve, thanks for the article. I’ve linked to it at my blog at blog.escoc.net. I have also added you to my blogroll.

    Thanks for your work.

  • Is that a confession? Friend, surely you know that love can be misplaced. You may recall that Demas loved the world (2 Timothy 4:10).

  • I agree completely. There is a book on Project Gutenburg called “From the Ballroom to Hell” and the author’s last name is Faulkner. The book was written in the 1800’s and it describes how dancing corrupts innocent girls and how evil it is. It talks about “carriages” because it was in the days when they used horses, but now with cars and trucks I think it’s a lot more dangerous. It talks about how they gave the girl wine to get her drunk and then raped her, but the word they used was “took her virtue”. These days they have drugs and drinking alcohol seems to be more acceptable and commonplace. It also says in the book that an innocent girl would enter one of these dance schools, in many cases put there by well-meaning parents, and in 3 months was an inmate of a brothel.

    It said it destroys the health and leads to prostitution. After the man took the girl’s virtue, he refused to marry her and she went from bad to worse. So the ballroom led to hell then and probably does now too.

    There is also a sermon by Richard Baxter, a Puritan writer from the 1600’s about the Sin of Flesh-Pleasing, where he makes the point that if the activity is done solely for itself and doesn’t have at its goal to bring glory to God, that it is sin.

    All of the things you described, I can’t see that any of it is bringing glory to God. What is so interesting is that you say that these were “Christians.” In some denominations, the people make a lot of noise, lifting up their hands and saying loudly, “Glory to God” “Hallelujah” Well!! It’d be kind of interesting if they would do the same thing on the dance floor as in church!!

  • Thank you. In a world that seems to be anything goes, even with some christians, I am glad to hear prom being talked about in a biblical way. I sometimes worry I am being to extreme when even my christian friends don’t seem too concerned about the things I am. As a mother I want to do what’s right with my kids. Not what the world thinks is right but what God thinks is right. Thanks again.

  • Thank you for a well written article on an often neglected subject. You are right on target. I have a sermon called “Dancing With the Devil” on my website which may interest you. Feel free to link if you wish.

  • Thanks a lot! I have been a youth director for over 10 years now but my children are just coming of high school age to where i have to “practice what i preach”. My church has been advising parents about not allowing their young people to attend proms. Most of them allow the young people to make the decision. I hate to see judgment day come when we will have to give account of what God has entrusted us with – his children!!!!

  • I appreciate this. I’m about to be a senior, and I have been resisting “prom-pushers” ever since 7th grade. It’s so discouraging when you, as a teen in Christ, try to take a stand against dancing, only to hear your peers say, “Well, so-and-so from your youth group is going! They said there’s nothing wrong with it!” I don’t know if adults in the church realize how heartbreaking that is to us teens who are trying to abstain from that activity. It’s even more discouraging when ADULTS (even in the church) are encouraging us to “just go and sit with our friends and dress modestly.” Why should we go at all? So often, I find adult members of the church “letting the kids decide” if they want to go to prom, without presenting the dangers, temptations, and Scripture. It’s serious, and the majority of teens aren’t taking it that way.

    When prom rolls around, those of us who choose not go go try to tell people why we don’t want to go, but I know none of us would deny the emotional exhaustion and heartbreak we experience as we fight against the tide.

  • Jesus never said take up the cross, follow after me and it’ll be a piece of cake and you’ll never have to make any tough decisions. In the Faith for Life DVD the stats as to how many young people we are losing in the church is alarming. I know it is TRUE because I have many family members who have “grown-up” in the church just to leave it. Many of our young people, as do older people alike, get into the habit of justifying their actions. “IF everybody else is doing it, it can’t be that wrong.” That’s the same reason that many of our young adults are falling into immodesty and promiscuity in high school or college. The same reason many of them begin to smoke and drink and party. I know, as I’ve said I’ve seen it in my own family. It is a shocking and alarming reality. Thanks for confronting it.

  • First things first. I personally believe that going to a prom IS NOT at all a sin. As long as it is supervised and things are kept in order. Furthermore, I know at my prom a few years back they did not serve alcohol, and made sure no one under the influence was able to come inside. The dance floor was CLOSELY monitored and they supervisors were sure there was no “hanky panky”. You can not hold thew prom responsible for the peoples actions after a prom. If you can say, “it’s the proms fault the got pregnant”, or, “it was the prom that made them want to drink and do drugs”, then we can start charging guns with killing people, and take away cars license for driving under the influence. The bible says in Matthew 7:1 Judge not that you be not judged. I personally believe there is NOTHING wrong with going to the prom. It’s the after prom situations that can get sin involved. We have to learn to take responsibility for our own actions, and actually inform our children of the dangers of sin, and not expect the church to be enough. I’ve heard several sermons against the prom, against sporting events, and about any thing else you can dream up. But the bottom line is, we need to take responsibility for our own actions, and quit looking for a scapegoat to blame our shortcomings on. Well that’s my two cents, I’ll climb off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening to my opinion and God bless.

  • Timothy,
    Thank you for taking time to respond. I will only state that my experience causes me to conclude that your comments are naive. “Closely monitoring” that which is sinful is not a solution to sin. You admit that you’ve heard other preachers preach against the prom. I wonder why these men who have dedicated their lives to study and service to Christ offer such warnings? Is it because their faith is weak? Do they not understand what sin is? Are they have a hidden agenda? My friend, before I’d simply dismiss their instruction as foolishness, I’d think twice (Proverbs 11:14). Of course, that’s not to say that any man is authoritative. However it is to say that you ought to give careful attention to a position that is taught by some of the most spiritual men you may know, and who have lived before you. Also, please don’t wrestle against what I didn’t say. Go back and read my article and take note of what I am against. Surely, you’re against the same things.

  • The pressures of sexual desire and peer influence are very powerful for all people, especially teenagers. A seemingly small compromise such as a pre-game drink can lead to a lot of problems as the night progresses. I did not personally find knowledge of God’s condemnation to be persuasive for me in that time of my life and in that setting. However, my own interest in personal safety and self respect have been very valuable in guiding me through temptations that you mention. I think an open discussion of risk can help a young person not go to the prom with naive impressions and rough circumstances.

  • Why do we think that our children should attend any dance that Jesus Christ does not approve of ? The word of God commands us to be seperate from the world and love not the world and the things of the world ! Prom is no place for a christian !

  • I taughted Teenage VBS at a congregation near where I live
    not too long ago and taught about the evils of dancing and going to the prom-most of the young people didn’t like what I( had to say-They said parents allowed them to go the prom

  • Tim, I think your point is valid. By the time young people are in high school, they need to have learned to have respect for themselves and a healthy desire to keep themselves safe.
    One must realize that no matter how powerful one believes his message to be, if the majority of kids (even kids raised in christian homes) are rejecting the message; that approach isn’t making an impact.

    Telling kids that those who participate in dances will suffer condemnation by God is sending a message that God’s expectations are so high that the majority of the humans that He created will not be able to meet them.

    Educating young people of the real dangers that the acts of drinking and engaging in premarital sex can have, as well as encouraging respect for ourselves and others is likely to make the most difference.

  • If they are doing bad things at prom, they are doing those things elsewhere

  • This is GREAT! I only wish the parents of our young people would listen.

  • One word : AMEN!

  • Thank you so much for this post. My husband is a minister, and we homeschool. No one in our congregation thinks prom is a bad thing, I am so shocked and saddened. I am glad we are not alone-even though it wouldn’t matter if we were.

  • Thank you. Even though you published this 4 years ago, It helped me today. You see, I’m a pastor’s son and I was not going to attend to prom on the grounds that “I don’t know how to dance” and “I don’t dance to that music”. Today I was openly asked to go to prom in the middle of my class; my response was: “I don’t know, let me think” I was disappointed in myself for not having an answer. I felt pressure so I googled “christians and prom”. This is the second link I’ve viewed and will not be the last. Thank you.

  • thank u for this. i decided not to go to my prom because i dont wnna be put in a situation that will make me comprimise my faith. I am lucky last year i got to go to a christian school one and althiugh i was disapointed in some music choices. I definetly know at my public school, they wont care about the music or dancing. i dont want to waste money and sit the whole night because i am not comfortable. i wish i could go if only it was a bit more clean.but like Jesus say FLEE from temptation.

  • But what about dancing between a husband and his wife in the privacy of their own home?
    That is permissible, I presume?

  • You know, I went to a Christian school and we did not have a prom, we had a formal banquet. It was on a Friday. There was NO dancing, NO drinking, and I was probably home around 1am (because I stayed to clean up)… and I was still so tired that I bombed my ACT the next morning! I don’t see how anyone could attend prom and be able to worship the next day! Great post.

  • Hello, George. You presume correctly. My article wasn’t addressing what was done between a man and his wife in the privacy of their own home.

  • Thanks Steve. GOD bless you and yours.

  • Too many parents throw their children into the Lion’s den. We all too often forget that to be carnally minded is death (Rom.8:6). So the Christian should train themselves to run away from such situations (1Thess.5:22). And it is worth mentioning that at the close of listing the works of the flesh, we find the words “and such like” (Gal.5:21). …so anything closely related will cause one to loose their spiritual inheritance. The only safe dancing is that in the privacy of one’s home, between the husband and wife. Too many handle themselves like they are married when they are not. So amen about encouragement to flee fleshly lusts.

  • I went to both of my proms when I was in school and have never regretted doing so. I am a handicapped person and I did not get up and do dancing of any kind. It may have been a different story if I had been an able bodied person who would have wanted to dance when I got there. If that had been the case I might not have gone. I knew I was not going to be dancing, and the only thing I did at either of my proms was eat and listen to the music (and it was music I would have been listening to anyway if I had not been at the prom, I was not just listening to it because I was there. I do not sit there and lust after the ones doing the dancing, I just got all dressed up in a modest dress that was beautiful and sat and talked to my friends and I have never felt that I did anything wrong on either of those occasions. If you go into a prom knowing you are going to do wrong, then there is something wrong with it, but you can go and have a good time and it not be wrong. I also did not participate in anything that was wrong afterward. I went out to eat with a friend and stayed out late, but there was no drinking or anything else that would be considered wrong. I know there are those out there that will disagree with me on this, but I do not feel I did anything wrong and would not have gone if I had thought I would be wrong in doing so.

  • Excellent, Steve. I appreciate your calm manner of discussion, and the clarity and simplicity you gave this very touchy topic.

  • Very well scripted and I completely agree…I’m 33 and I went to prom with a fellow Christian, I enjoyed the dinner and the pictures but let me tell you, when it came to the prom itself and dancing, I had a horrible time! I felt way to much pressure to dance with him and when he figured out I wouldn’t he turned into an idiot…by himself! Lol…it was definitely hard being the only one who acted like a Christian…the dressing up, dinner and pictures were lovely…I wish the public schools held banquets like the private schools do…I can’t even say have the boys and girls separate dancing because girl are so, you know, to get boys attention…it’s really not what it should be in any arena…public dancing boys n girls hormones fluttering about just screams for immorality… Needless to say I didn’t go to my own and thought at one moment I might be missing something…about 4 girls from school got preto that night…I’m glad I missed it! Now, my husband can take me out all dressed up and we can have a nice dinner without the kiddos…and hey if something happens later then I know God will have Blessed us!

  • I think that in the past, and now, the wrong party has been victimized. Pre-prom antics and attire: why aren’t we training parents? The prom itself: have any of the complainers of the dancing, chaperoning, and drinking actually volunteered THEMSELVES to chaperone? Post-prom activities: how are parents NOT going to know what their kids are up to?

    Let’s be clear-I am against many of the activities before, during, and after the prom from many teens. But pointing our finger at the prom is treatment of the symptoms, not the disease. The disease is getting parents to pull their heads out of the sand, or stop turning a blind eye, or stop trying to be their child’s “friend,” and start getting proactive about training their teens. Maybe some people live in an area where the prom is bad enough to not allow their children to go. I am fine with that. But the prom here in a small Texas town is a time for kids to get dressed up and have fun. And you better believe there is some drinking afterwards, but there are also post-prom activities DESIGNED to give those teens who don’t want (or whose parents don’t want) to do those things an alternative.

    I am not saying to accept the world’s standards. By no means. But we bemoan the prom and let our girls wear bikinis. We preach sermons about prom and let our kids watch MTV. We throw out words like lasciviousness and don’t volunteer to help FIX the problem. We write books about the hellacious perils of dancing but don’t know what our own teens are doing on the weekends.

    It is VERY viable to turn the prom into a solution. A chance to teach our teenagers how we can be IN the world but not OF the world. That the world can twist what CAN be innocent fun into it’s own fleshly desires, but we can live life to the fullest within God’s boundaries.

    And I for one am very interested to hear and respond to comments hearing those who can respectfully disagree with me. As for me and my house (and youth group), we are trying to take the prom, and our teenager’s spirituality, back.

  • I appreciate this article. If cleavage is so offensive to be shown (and it is), then why is the picture at the top of this article full of immodest girls? Even if it is just an article about the prom…

  • i agree with nate above. some things that happen at prom are wrong- the provocative dress, the dirty dancing. but the other things mentioned IMO are not taking place at the prom, and are not the fault of the prom itself. these things could take place in many other contexts that are not “judged” to be outright sinful. the author is very careful to say that proms “have seen…..” because no middle/secondary schools (that i am aware of) knowingly allow any alcoholic drinking to take place at the proms, i think they would be sued. when kids are found drunk, they are not allowed to stay at the prom. but kids sneak alcohol in there, just like they come to school drunk. kids lying to their parents about where they are, happens every day external to the prom.. kids renting cabins and having sex, happens every day external to the prom. parents pressuring children to participate in activities that they did when they were young as rites of passage, happens every day outside of the prom concept. parents need to take ownership, we cannot blame the prom establishment for these activities. a prom would not necessarily be sinful if it did not allow the dirty dancing or provocative dress. in the same way, a church banquet would not necessarily be wrong if it called itself a prom, unless it contained provocative dress and/or dirty dancing, which could make it sinful also.

    we as the churches of Christ have to be careful not to pick and choose certain activities to question and leave others unchallenged. sometimes we take part in other worldly rites of passage and ceremonies which have no scriptural basis and have pagan origin, yet justifying them, while the world partakes in those as well and feels that they are spiritually justified.

  • Hello friend, I’m sorry that you found the picture offensive. However, after reading your comment, I went back and looked at the picture just to make sure and there is no cleavage in the picture.

  • Amen to this brother….Thanks

  • Steve Amen to this Message and Articles Regarding prom. This is a Big help to me as young Minister of the Lord! I often use this and print out When bro.Ron Halbrook sent out this message to me..I am preaching in a New Congregation where i started since may 18,2012 andstart with only 3 baptized member of the Church. and now i cordially invite and encourage many youths tocome and attend the Worship and to short story we are now more than 30 members most of the Members are Young people and i always encourage them to Do the same Thing like what i did preaching and encouraging each other!Thank you for this Post! Godbless you always.

  • Want to add a twist to this? So many young women wear bikini swim suits even if their parents only allow girls to swim parties, the girl in the bikini is basically wearing the same as underwear. Wearing that to swim in makes them comfortable with their body being shown. So when they go out with male friends they wear the same suit not a modest one. When I was young I went to dances to get with girls. And I got with girls that danced and wore bikini’s at the beach.

  • WELL SAID–WHEN PARENTS BEGIN DRESSING THEIR CHILDREN IN SKIMPY–CLOTHING
    WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG CHILDREN THEY ARE TOUGHT THAT IT IS OK TO DRESS THE SAME WAY AS THEY GET OLDER…AND THEY SEE THEIR PARENTS DRESSING IN CLOTHING THAT DOSENT SET A GOOD EXAMPLE..THEN WE WONDER WHY THEY DO SINFUL THINGS…

  • I graudated hs in 2007 and while in high school I went to 4 homecomings and 2 proms. 4 out of 6 of those I went with dates… and all 6 I was with a group… And obviously a definition of scandalous dress is needed but I did not consider any of my scandalous… unless showing my shoulders or knees is scandalous… anyways… I honestly don’t think it is the prom that causes sin… I either went with a group of girls or I went with guys who were good guys and nothing happened… my parents had to meet the guys i went with before we even bought the tickets…we danced without grinding on eachother and when I went home or to my friends house that night we stayed up watching movies and chatting without alcohol/sex/sins….And as someone who went to public school if you are going home from the prom and drinking and having sex … wait for it….. the prom is not the only time or first time youve done this…. i went to dances with good christian boys and there was never any thought to us ever going home and getting our boom boom on… The worst i think we ever did was ALL of the group – guys and girls- went to my friends house and we played pool, darts, video games and went to walmart at like 2 in the morning… no alcohol. no drugs. no sex. which in reality is a very very tame night….

    So with that I will respectfully agree to disagree… I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong by going to my prom. It was actually a great, fun, clean experience.

  • […] Facebook feed has been buzzing with response to a timely piece, “But It’s the Prom” by Steve […]

  • Great article! Churches do need to preach more about this subject. Even if someone can go to the prom and “be good” what will the outsider say about the Christian (Colossians 4:5)? Your being around sin when you don’t have to is foolish to say the least. The bible says come out and be separate (2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1). It is high time we let the world know that we’re different, not like them. The further we get away from worldly things the better off we’ll all be. I say forget the prom, and stand on the promises of God!

  • I believe that one can go to prom and sin not. I certainly believe I did. My prom dates and I at both proms chose to wear formal garments, not the garments of whores (though some did and we indeed shared in some ridicule of them). We spent time some on the dance floor with a tight group of our friends in one area dancing and having a good time as we just had good clean fun.

    Upstairs there was food and art and I enjoyed that too, Many of us went and just talked, played cards, and had a great time.

    Later we went to a place where there were games and prizes to be won. After prom. We had our share there and then went back home. It was about 2AM. I went back home both times and was completely happy with what I had done. several hours later I woke up and went to my God to praise Him.

    You don’t have to go to prom and be filthy. Not everything that goes on at prom is bad. Certainly all the people who go to prom are not sinning. Some are, but many are not. It was no different than school. There were many who chose to dress in a way that made them out to be easy and loose. There were those that chose to be classy and wear a nice dress that complimented them and their inner beauty as well.

    Are there kids who go and rent a room at a hotel or go to a house where parents are not around, drink, have sex outside the holiness of matrimony? Yes. That happens in school anyway.

    Do not deceive yourself into thinking prom is the only time when things go sinful. Sin happens or has the ability to happen anywhere and anytime. The question that everyone must answer is “will I choose to follow in it?” I chose not to follow in the sin that some choose to follow in at prom. So I went to prom and had a good clean time with my friends.

    Maybe what we need more of is pure, moral Christians going to prom and showing how one can have a good clean time without all the sin and impurity that many try to add with fun.

    do not be deceived into thinking “nothing good can come from prom.” It was said “nothing good can come from Nazareth.” Look Who came from Nazareth and decide if you truly appreciate your Lord and Savior.

  • […] “But it’s the prom!” Steve Higginbotham weighs in with some Biblical perspective. […]

  • I’m in grade 9 and i’m new to a Christian school. All the things said are valid and I believe it but they are all caused by the student. It’s not like it’s the dance that is compelling them to behave in that way. When i was in public school we used to have dances all the time to raise funds for certain school activities. I thought that they were just a fun way to spend time with friends. At least school dances have parent chaperones at all! Imagine all these high school students at a house party, its essentially prom but with no supervisors and even more revealing clothes. I feel like people should be more concerned about changing the mindset of the rebellious teens than taking something significant away from them, thus giving them more reason to rebel. My point is that people should be teaching teens the consequences of behaving that way, not just leaving them in the dark. *i’m sorry if this offends anyone, i just want to voice my opinion

  • Hi Emma,
    Thanks for your response. My I guess that you’re Canadian? Most people in the U.S. would say, “9th grade,” whereas in Canada, most would say, “grade 9” as you did. So I’m just guessing. 🙂

    I appreciate the opinions you shared, and you need not worry about offending anyone. You said what you said in a very respectful manner. However, there are a couple points that I would like to bring to your attention that you might want to reconsider.

    1. You said that the blame is on the students, not the dance. Well, there’s plenty of blame to go around, including the students, parents, and administrators, but it is the nature of the dance itself that is part of the problem. It calls for unchaste conduct and immoral sexual behavior. As a work of the flesh, it is partly to blame. Some activities, you just can’t do without involving yourself in sin. The kind of dancing that I was describing in the article is one such thing. So I would say that part of the blame is on the activity itself.
    2. You stated that a chaperoned dance is not as bad as an unchaperoned house party. I agree completely, but the fact that you can imagine things much worse doesn’t make this right. The fact that I can find a shirt dirtier than the one I’m wearing doesn’t mean he one I’m wearing is clean.
    3. You said that changing the mindset of rebellious teens is more important than taking dances away from them. Certainly, one’s attitude is at the heart of this discussion. But can I not try to change the hearts of people while at the same time trying to protect them from something that is harmful? For example, the issue with speeding and wreckless driving in teens is an attitude issue. So would you recommend that we not enforce speed limit laws? Would you not agree that we can try to do both, teach the dangers of speeding and enforce what’s right by the rule of law? One can try to change attitudes while at the same time take steps to restrict those from doing things that are harmful to themselves. You said this just gives them reason to rebel. Give that line of reasoning legs, and it forbids us from protecting our children from anything that is harmful to them.
    4. Yes, we need to be teaching teens the consequences of behaving poorly, and that’s what this article was intended to do. Who left anyone in the dark? In all my years of preaching, I’ve heard and read countless sermons and articles on the subject of “immoral dancing.” Never once have I heard or read someone saying, “Don’t do this.” and stopping there, leaving people in the dark. Without exception, reasons were given for the position they were affirming. I’d be interested in hearing or seeing an example of teaching on this subject that just left people “in the dark.”

    Again, I thank you for taking time to respond, and in the way that you did it. I would simply ask that you consider the validity of my follow up remarks.

  • Bravo to a much needed column. Christians came be more worldly than Carnel minded people, and we just sacrifice our children to this nonsense.. God help us

  • I’m in college now, but I had my fair share of proms and dances. At least the dances that I have attended, there was a dress code that stated no skirts that were shorter than 10 inches long from hip to thigh, no necklines plunging more than 3 inches below the breast, and no exposed midriffs. And really, the dancing I saw wasn’t bad either. Either people danced alone or with a group of friends, or romantic couples performed a sweet and adorable slow dance. There wasn’t very much grinding or twerking, and it was all incredibly fun. Yes, the afterparties did have some drinking, but there was usually a designated driver, and if there wasn’t one, someone called a cab.

  • Sera, After reading your comments, I wasn’t sure whether you were taking exception to what I wrote, or just providing additional anecdotal evidence that what I wrote is true.

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