Bad attitudes are always easier to see in someone else than in oneself. Case in point: Last week, a news story reported about a teenage boy who was given a brand new BMW for his birthday. Instead of being ecstatic over the gift he received, he pushed his gift into a local river, watching it sink to the bottom. Why? Because he was hoping for a Jaguar and his parents got him a BMW instead.
When we hear stories like this, it’s very easy for us to think, “What an ungrateful child!” Instead of throwing a fit because he didn’t get a Jaguar, he should have been thankful that he had been given a BMW.
Hold that thought as I do a little transference. I must admit that I grow a little weary listening to preachers and preacher’s wives who constantly complain (e.g. We’re not paid enough; we’re not respected enough; our children are unfairly criticized, etc.). May I share two thoughts about such complaints?
Stop thinking we’re being singled out because we’re the preacher or preacher’s wife. Do we really think that “Greeters at Walmart,” “Waiters at Restaurants,” “Doctors,” and “School Teachers” and any other job you can think of don’t get criticized too? Every job has its difficulties. So, let’s lose the “Elijah Syndrome” and realize we aren’t alone. Life is sometimes hard for everyone, not just preachers and their wives.I’ve heard preachers and their wives go on and on about how their children are singled out and held to a higher, unjust standard than other children. I don’t deny that can happen, but maybe we can do a better job in managing such situations. For example, don’t talk about it in front of our children. Allow them to remain oblivious to the unjust criticism. Or, if such unjust criticism is spoken directly to our children, teach them how to manage it like every other parent in the world has to do with their children. Recognize that some problems just go with the territory — not the territory of being a preacher, preacher’s wife, or preacher’s child, but the territory of being human and navigating relationships with other humans.
Think of the blessings. Are there difficulties peculiar to being a preacher, preacher’s wife, or preacher’s child? Of course. But those difficulties are far surpassed by the blessings. I sometimes hear of preacher’s or preacher’s wives contemplating getting out of ministry because they don’t want to subject their children to the difficulties they will face. Before you make such a decision, would you consider the blessings you would be robbing your children of if you get out of ministry? I frequently hear complaints about what preacher’s children have to endure, but I rarely hear people expound upon the blessings preacher’s children get to receive. This needs to change! A preacher’s child gets to see his father’s entire life devoted to the service of God. He gets to see a degree of devotion from his mother and father that doesn’t exist in many homes. He gets to see a model of perseverance to the Lord in difficult times. He gets to see countless sacrifices made for the kingdom’s sake when his father would rather be doing something else. He gets to have his home saturated with spiritual talk, and meet great men and women in the faith. He gets to experience the authenticity of hearing sermons preached, then witness them lived out by the man who preached them, etc.
My point is this: We need to stop focusing on the negative and begin speaking aloud of the blessings of being a preacher, preacher’s wife, and preacher’s child! A preacher’s family is privileged to live the only life they have in a family sanctified to service to the Lord! We should be rejoicing over this truth rather than spending our time focusing upon our problems.
I grew up in a preacher’s family. I have spent the last 35 years of my life preaching. I have witnessed the challenges my wife has faced during that same period, and my wife and I have raised four children in a preacher’s family. So, I’m speaking from the inside, having a little experience. I am not suggesting that anyone to put on “rose-tinted glasses” and pretend as though there are no difficulties in being a part of a preacher’s family. What I am trying to convey is not to allow those difficulties to overshadow and rob you of the joys that come from being a part of a preacher’s family and not to discourage others from pursuing the same blessings.
It’s possible those preachers became preachers for the wrong reasons. I remember a book a friend of mine wrote about those wanting to be missionaries so they could travel. Like a vacation. Andrew always hated to run across people like that in his work in Chimala.
Absolutely.